I didn't realize it was going to be this hard. Middle of the month, bills came in, looked at the bank account and it sure doesn't look like I can cover everything. So I tried not to focus on what I didn't have, and I really struggled to re-direct my mind, but it's like trying to keep a piece of candy from a puppy (more like a lion from a piece of steak). It's hard because I've been conditioned to react and believe something I'm now learning not to do.
In addition, I don't think John is anywhere near the level I am in this project and I wonder if one person is working hard to attract, and the partner doesn't believe, is the attraction negated?
Did I mention this is hard?
Okay, yesterday I came up with a little song to take my mind away from the negative. It's a derrivitive from "If you're happy and you know it..." (wait a minute before you start laughing)
"I've got money in the bank, shout hooray! I've got money in the bank, shout hooray! I've got money in the bank and I know just who to thank. I've got money in the bank, shout hooray!" Okay, now go ahead and laugh, but I sang it over and over while I was making maccaroni and cheese and I punched the air with each "hooray." It worked. At least enough to change my focus. I think I'm going to have to do that a lot. It's going to look weird but 50 some-odd years of conditioning is hard to undo.
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